Debra E's Never-Ending TBR

Reviewed at Sinfully.

3.5 stars

Joshua has had a lifetime of abuse and abandonment. SJD Peterson doesn’t delve too deeply into the details, but gives us enough to know where his mindset comes from. He believes he has nothing much to offer anyone and will do just about anything, take any pain, as evidenced by the prior dangerous and disastrous D/s relationship he barely got out of with his life, to find oblivion for a little while. Abandoned by that Dom, Joshua is lost and is looking for a Dom as a way to stay off the streets, not the best way to go about things.

Nash has had his eye on Joshua since he first saw him and he’s not too happy with the way he believes Master Troy is treating him. He’s heard from others at the club that Joshua has no limits and is a pain junkie. He wants nothing more than to take Joshua as his boy, but he thinks he might be in over his head, especially once the truth of Joshua’s situation comes out.

It may sound strange, but despite the BDSM, the many sex scenes and the short time they are together, the relationship progresses in a quiet, tender manner. Nash is insistent on letting Joshua know he is desired, not just for the pain he can take or the submission he offers, but for the kind man he is as well. The line blurring between Dom/sub and lovers, definitely has Joshua off-kilter, but it seems Nash knows just how to balance the two to give Joshua what he needs on all fronts.

There is no magic BDSM cure and I was glad to see Nash encourage Joshua to get professional help. Nash does use scenes to help Joshua see that he doesn’t need endless pain, but can satisfy his needs through his submission as well and learning to trust in Nash. Joshua’s past is heartbreaking, but the story didn’t feel overwhelmed by angst. It does color the present though and as much as Joshua has trouble believing he can find happiness he also feels the need to run when he starts to get a little taste of it. Nash, on the other hand, fears that Joshua will heal and leave him behind.

After all the time that is spent getting Joshua and Nash to agree to continue to work together, the ending was quite abrupt and left with a HFN; in fact I expected to find another chapter or Epilogue when I swiped the page and that disappointment did drop this from 4 to 3.5 stars for me. They have reached common ground as far as their contract goes, but still have a long road ahead of them in the relationship, especially when it comes to Joshua’s problems.

For anyone going into this story, know that it’s really about the start of a new relationship and the building of trust enough for Nash and Joshua to go forward. Joshua now wants and believes that he deserves what Nash offers and the two are happy to work towards their ultimate goal. I don’t know whether we will get more of these two in the future, but I would like to see what they could build as Joshua really begins to put his past to bed.